Building Up the Courage

I think Blogging is marvelous, especially for the author.  It's cathartic for some, empowering for others and validating for most of us.

Most of you know I've struggled with my weight ever since I was a kid.  As a kid my family always loved with food.  Sunday morning breakfast at Denny's (Jantzen Beach) after Mass at St. James, brings a smile to my face even now.  My dad's amazing pancakes.  More importantly his holiday meals with our extended family in San Francisco.  Good food and normal family for a few hours.

My mom was a bit of a health-nut and we use to have some, uh not so good lunches and snack foods around.  When I moved out of the house I ate myself silly with all the yummy sugary-fat cereals we Yanks so proudly make.  I worked a lot so fast food made sense...  I'm an adult now I eat what I want.  I got really fat in my early 20's.  By mid-20's I was done with that and I ate right and aerobics was my friend.  I looked great.

By late 20's went through divorce and moved up to Seattle.  Seattle was freeing and what I didn't do in my 20's I made up in my 30's.  Clubs, music and drink!  Let's just say I ballooned up again but not for long.  I met and crushed hard for a gym-rat.  Ohhh Sean O'Connor where are you now?  Anyway I went to the gym (weights) and started running.  I ran and I ran a lot.  I was eating healthy but not calorie counting or even worried about carbs etc I didn't have to.  Before I knew it I was addicted to gym and running.  The pounds melted away, I felt AMAZING and the world was my oyster!  I stayed thin for most of my 30's.  I'd like to thank Gaelic Football for help in that area as well, the sport and training will keep ya fit.  Yes my 30's were my Golden Decade.

No on to my 40's.  I had some life changes - isn't that a dumb statement?  Awww feel sorry for me I've had some "life changes"  Shooooot haven't we all?  My taste for micro-brews, pizza and all the yummy food carts around PDX I had no self control - YUM!  If I can't be in Seattle with what I am familiar with then HELL I'm gonna enjoy myself and find comfort here. I'm a foodie what can I say.  Even as I write this I've just polished off a delicious ham/cheese croissant from Bleu Door down the street - I'm terrible (blahahhahahah)!!!!

So why the hell am I starting this new Blogg?  I'll tell ya why...  I'm finally feeling comfortable in my city of Portland.  I've reconnected with some good friends, I've made some new wonderful friends, I want to make the best of where I'm living and most importantly I'm tired of being fat - not that PHAT I'm FAT! 

I've been so embarrassed to have full length pictures of myself.  I either pose w/people in front of me, choose NOT to be in the pic or the fat-girls standard: Just from the neck up please.  Hey guess what...  you ain't foolin' anyone!

So here's a recent pic.  I thought by "layering" it wasn't so bad - it IS oh boy is it ever!  So I'm calling myself out. Even as I pose I look uncomfortable.  I'm sure the thought was running thru my head... Why the hell am standing here rather than in the back row?

If I can Blogg my journey and have a few laughs and hopefully a few laughs with you I won't feel so alone.  Weight Watchers you say??  No I've been there and done that.  Not for me. Too much pressure. Hell if I'm hitting the gym pretty regularly, preparing healthy meals, balancing work and social life this is the avenue for me!

So let's see what happens here. I'm excited to looking like this again.  Happier times, smiles and feeling AMAZING again!  I can do this!!!